Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Moondance
Topic: Chronic Pain

Moondance

ARE YOU YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY?

Chronic pain and keeping your balance in life

When we live with pain as a constant companion one of our utmost challenge is to negotiate through life learning to live with others who are healthy. It is akin to living in a maze, either dodging others in order to hide or spare them from seeing you suffer, or placing yourself firmly in their paths with demands, tears and cries for help. When we suffer from chronic pain, we often unconsciously set out own schedules and try to control every hour of the day and night. Having control over our lives is a means of compensating for our total lack of our ability to have jurisdiction over our pain. The pain is the enemy in our lives who dominates every aspect of our lives. Many of us hide our pain as we do not want to have to make excuses, fake sunny smiles, or appear to be a wailing weak fragile victim. We do not wish to impose our tortured bodies on anybody else. It is also a simple matter of pride.

Pride in the memory of who we once were, what we could once accomplish, and how plans for our futures have so dramatically changed.

This manner of coping has some major flaws. What kind of life are we striving for? Where and when did it change? What have we had to give up? How do we allow our disabilities and pain to affect the lives of others? Are we using our pain as a crutch to enable us to become the victim, the all suffering person who can use it as an excuse to exit from life as you once knew it?

If you are honest within, you will know yourself, how much illness has conquered your life and if you dig deeply and become even more truthful and frank with yourself, perhaps you can start to understand that pain and illness should never be an excuse to exit from normal life. It can be challenging yes. But it should not be a reason to compromise your life with others whom you love and cherish and who are worried and care about you.

What have you really given up? If things could change, how would your life change? What kinds of activities would you involve yourself in, if you did not have chronic pain? And, is chronic pain the real reason for your exiting from life?  Has your life become an exodus from something else besides your physical pain? Could the events in your life before pain have had an influence on how you are coping now? Many people have been inflicted with such overpowering hurt and emotional distress in their past, that when illness enters into the picture, it combines with the emotional hurt and becomes an avenue to simply blot out the business of living. This happens more than you know.

Without chronic illness and pain, how many of you would truly consider a hermit’s life or find it even remotely appealing?

In our new world of clouded dark fantasy, we are suddenly thrust into a vacuum that we eventually get used to and do not recognize as such. From a tea party, to holiday events, to going to church, to trips to see family etc., we constantly struggle to reduce our physical distress without appearing to burden others. However, seldom do we really take into account our emotional anguish which is a likely companion. Taking the time to honestly evaluate your reasons for not wanting to participate in what you once perceived as usual social events will open up a new vista for you to explore and enable you to make changes for the better. Illness and pain has a way of robbing a person of their self confidence, their ability to negotiate through the shoals of everyday society. For some reason many of us are ashamed of being ill and in pain. We strive to hide it or take the option of staying home. Both options are harmful. Hiding it is a fool’s paradise and you are fooling nobody but yourself. Staying home and away from socializing is cowardly and harmful. Everybody needs to be around people. Isolation is not the answer to coping with illness and pain.  However much we dread attending social events, there is also the added burden of finding ways to express our special requirements which often necessitates meticulous situation specific negotiations. Sadly, many of us find this to be demeaning and are hesitant to bring it up. Not understanding that in the long run, it is the better route. Far better than to find out later, in the middle of a family gathering that if you had only asked or told them about your requirements, everything would have worked out for everybody.

It is important to remember that healthy people cannot conceive of suffering through twenty four hour chronic pain. It is beyond their ability and imagination to do so. Many people view people in chronic pain as babies, or feel that we are making it up. That we are charlatans begging for sympathy.  However, most people want to be taken care of when they are feeling dreadful and this aspect may be understood by others.

We have to recognize that those of us suffering with chronic pain problems appear needy to others. This can be taxing and a royal pain to others.  And therein lays the perplexing problem of how to appear to others, how to react and how to project your needs without appearing to be a helpless whining victim.

One of the first rules is learning to say no. It is vital that we eliminate the activities we do not like and are not a mandatory requirement such as a family funeral, wedding, birthday etc.  Even though we appear to others as being sick all the time, there is nothing wrong with declining an invitation for health reasons. So then, why the guilty feelings? Why do we all feel guilty and ashamed of being sick? Better to just decline politely by saying that you are not up to it, and to express your thanks and let it go at that.  Other people cancel for many reasons, so there is no reason to feel shamefaced about bowing out because of illness and/or pain! We suffer significant pain daily, so why add to it by trying to force yourself to endure activities you will not enjoy. Individuals who drain you rather than adding pleasure to your life are not helpful to your wellbeing. Teach yourself to reserve your precious strength for the most important tasks. Prioritize with brutal honesty.  As much as you can, eliminate the activities you feel obliged to attend with the ones you really want to choose.  

When you just cannot get out of going, limit the time. Plan to arrive late and leave early. This will aid you in having a less stressful time and in most cases, nobody will notice anyway.

Go prepared to make your event as stress free and enjoyable as you can. Be a good scout and hold your head up high and go through the motions. Bring the comforts you need with you. Don’t forget your medications. Pay attention to where you are going and prepare for any event within reason.

Learn to communicate. Why is this so difficult? What holds us back from coming out with the truth? Is it because we are afraid that OTHERS cannot accept the truth? Remember that most people care about how you are getting along and really want to help but many not know what to do. Asking for help is very difficult for most people. This acknowledges our weakness and dependence and many of us hide behind a bravado and sort of force field in order not to ask anybody for anything.  Our physical pain is only a part of what we endure. We are also constantly in mourning for the things we no longer can do, fear of standing out in a crowed and calling attention to ourselves. Most of us do not want to be perceived as a helpless victim. And some of us, to our own detriment make things worse by pushing the envelope only to significantly suffer later.  We often rationalize that passing for comparatively normal is worth a certain amount of delayed reaction pain and suffering. A cut your nose to spite your face reaction of which I am inordinately guilty! A piece of advice well taken is to steer away from long, tortured explanations of your health problems and pain. Nobody wants to hear it!

Difficulties can be stirred up when our wishes are at odds to others, or when we appear to be too aggressive. Remember that you cannot expect a large party of people to change plans because of your individual needs or expectations.

Although our pain can be quite intense, it is virtually invisible to those around us. Bells do not ring when our condition begins to deteriorate and only those closest to us can detect the signs of white faced strain, rigidly held bodies, and other little nuances so clear to those who love us best. Because of our ongoing chronic pain we may feel entitlement to preferential treatment. But you have to realize that others do not see your suffering.  Chronic pain is for the most part invisible to all but the knowledgeable.  

Learn to pace yourself and to rest before attending a social event. The onset of out-of-control pain or fatigue is frightening and potentially embarrassing, and more than enough to make us wish we stayed home. When it comes to pain, we lose control. It has a mind of its own. And it has the ability to turn otherwise joyful events into difficult hardships.

We are not the only ones in the universe suffering. While to us, our condition may seem severe, it is unrealistic to assume that we alone experience sickness and pain.  It is also important to understand that people do not want us to suffer any more than we already do and therefore can be helpful.  When soliciting help do not dwell on your condition and needs and always express gratitude for any assistance.

We have to contend with continual pain, which is debilitating and which compromises our daily lives, but remember that it is not fair to use it as a trump card to get our own way. The kindness of friends and families reaching out to us is a blessing but we should not make others feel responsible or guilty about our suffering.  Relationships are a two way street. Considering the needs of others in your life is just as important as their consideration of your needs.

Most of the time people have difficulty confronting our disability and pain is whispered as a shameful secret. Our suffering is the hardest on those who care for us. We have to learn to think of them ahead of our own pain, because often our difficulties become theirs and impact their own lives negatively. How would you feel if your partner or child were in terrible pain all the time?

Just as we wish to have a break from pain, our family and friends need relief from thinking about them. There is a fine line between becoming a victim or a martyr. Your goal should be to create a balance between sharing your troubles and focusing on other topics. Be certain to introduce topics unrelated to your medical state. Distraction can be extremely helpful for you as well. How much fun can be had by socializing with somebody who always focuses on their illness?  Just because we suffer does not mean that our family members should. We can reduce their discomfort by preventing situations which can precipitate flare ups of pain that can get out of control. Taking care of ourselves helps others who care for us. Staying in good spirits contributes to a more positive state of mind for everybody.

Interacting with the outside world can be a challenge. Learn to know what triggers your pain episodes and how to deal with your own pain. Remember that we are the toughest group around physically, but the most vulnerable emotionally.

Living with someone who is chronically ill is difficult. Appreciate those who stick by you.  Listen to their needs and desires. Help them negotiate through their lives. Just because you are sick does not mean that you have lost the ability to have compassion and understanding for others.

None of us are perfect and perhaps less so, are all of the weary travelers who struggle through their painful path of life. We can be a burden, and we can be boring, and we can be perceived as being whining and inconsiderate. By the same token we can be seen as warriors, brave and steadfast, strong and enduring. This is a choice we all have to make. Making your illness and pain the focus of your life will deflate your quality of life. Making others the focus of your life will inflate it. It’s all in the balance. And, something you CAN CONTROL. 

Peace, love and blessings, FG  AKA MERM

 

TRAPPED BY THE FIBRO DRAGON
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Do You Hear What I Hear
Topic: YOUR DESTINY IS YOURS
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YOUR DESTINY IS YOURS
Fibro Girl WELLNESS TRAIN BLOGGER

There are many of us who believe that our lives are predestined and that we should resign ourselves to our lots in life.

There is a difference between resigning ourselves, acceptance and learning to cope with your destiny.

Many of us believe that the truth is that it is up to each one of us to decide what that destiny will be.

While each of us is born with a life’s purpose, it is up to us whether or not we fulfill it. Just as when we choose what to eat, who to keep company with, and whether to turn right or left, when we leave our home, choosing to acknowledge your destiny is a decision that can only be realized when you take action to make that choice a reality.

Whether you believe it is your destiny to be a parent, an adventurer, an artist, a pioneer, or a spiritual guru, saying yes to your destiny is only the first step.

Managing and creating your destiny starts with knowing what you want and believing you can attain your goals, and that there are steps and actions that you can take along with decisions to be made before your destiny can truly manifest.

When you assume responsibility for fulfilling your destiny and begin acting with the intention of doing so, you not only grab fate in your own hands, but also you become the hands of your own fate.

Doors inevitably open for you to step through, and every choice you make can be a creative act toward realizing your goals and dreams.

You learn to follow your instincts and intuition, recognize opportunities when they are presented to you, and seizing those golden moments.

You also begin to recognize the decisions that may not serve this greater picture and can more easily push them aside.

Remembering that the decision to fulfill your destiny is always a choice can be empowering.
But it is your choice and your choice alone.

Knowing that you are fulfilling your destiny because you want to, rather than because you have to, can make a huge difference.

When you are freed from obligation, obstacles in your way become challenges to be overcome, and the journey becomes an adventure rather than the obligatory steps you are being forced to take.

Your destiny may be waiting for you, but whether or not you meet your destiny is up to you.
Your fate lies in your hands.

You may feel that life has treated you unfairly. You may suffer from constant pain and illness.

You may wish that you could regain your “earlier” self.

Accepting your limitations and the negative aspects of pain with grace, and with the willingness to use this as a tool to becoming a positive, useful and compassionate person, will help you deal with the disabilities and isolation you face every day.

Although it is difficult to regard pain and illness as a blessing or indeed part of your chosen destiny, it is helpful to remember that we are not loaded down with any more than we can handle.

Thus, although we might want to cave in, give up, and become a clinging vine, most of us have strong personalities infused with survival tactics and indeed if push came to shove, we would not have it any other way.

In saying this, there is still time to nurture and love yourself. To understand your limitations and to pace yourself accordingly.

There is no practical or positive point to pushing your body beyond that which it is capable or which will harm you or cause you more pain.

And, one has to be careful not to become a controlling factor in the lives of others for just because we are ill does not give us the right to hurt, control, or destroy the lives of others.

It should work in the reverse. In knowing pain and illness, our compassion should flourish and grow, thus making us grow in the scheme of life as a positive force with much to contribute to this life. We are not just taking up space because we are sick. We still can contribute to others in need.

We can show an example of fortitude, courage, endurance, love, compassion and intelligence. We can lead the way.

So does pain and illness become the torch to a better way of life? It is all in how you look at it. It can, and it should and in most cases it does.

Not to minimize pain, or illness or the frustrations and the isolation that it brings, not to negate the lack of self confidence and complete frustration you can turn these negatives into positives by being your brother’s keeper. By, no matter what, caring on with a smile, a gentle giving heart and the wisdom to know that some things we cannot change.

In doing so, we can change ourselves and become Spirits of Light and Love.

Peace, Love and Blessings,

Fibro Girl

TRAPPED BY THE FM DRAGON
Mood:  chatty
Now Playing: By Myself
Topic: Managing Chronic Pain
By Myself


Dang me, gonna take a rope and hang the dragon, high from the highest tree, and women , we all weep for thee.

Chronic pain is a serious problem but is often made worse by misinformation, negative attitudes and beliefs, outdated ideas, negative emotions. It is recognized that chronic pain is often mismanaged, not because we lack adequate treatments, but because of fear and ignorance. One has to learn to cope mentally and it is not an easy task.

Make sure you understand what pain really is.
Chronic pain is different to other medical problems, which can often be treated relatively easily and successfully. Chronic pain is a complex illness, caused and maintained by a combination of physical, psychological and neurological factors. These multiple causes make it difficult to pinpoint any one cause for pain, or any one treatment. Pain is also often dismissed or poorly treated because of the 'baggage' of old ideas about pain - for example, pain where the physical cause is unknown is often under-treated. This is despite the fact that the role of neurological factors means pain can occur in the absence of external causes and that such pain should not be dismissed or considered abnormal.
The medical establishment has struggled to meet the challenge of pain, and now is starting to recognize that this problem cannot be overcome without combining input from other disciplines such as psychology and physical therapies. Pain is also a subjective experience that is impossible to accurately measure. Pain involves a range of emotional reactions including anxiety, fear and depression.

Acceptance
Chronic pain is so awful that sometimes it's easier to escape into wishing it had never happened, or hoping for a miracle cure. If persistent, these common reactions to pain can actually become a bit of a trap. You need to face the reality of what has happened to you, and find constructive ways of dealing with it.
Acceptance means more than just intellectually knowing that you have pain, it means actually allowing yourself to feel the anxiety, fear, anger and grief that go with pain. Acceptance is a process, which requires progressively acknowledging all your feelings, and getting your physical and emotional needs.
In order to accept and go through the negative emotions associated with chronic pain, you must have adequate safety and support. Safety means having adequate control over your pain through the right combination of medical, physical and psychological treatment inputs. Support means having adequate emotional support from family and friends giving you a feeling of containment and security.
The end product of acceptance is reduced pain, inner peace, less anxiety and better coping


Taking Control of Your Pain

After many months or even years of pain and failed treatments, it’s easy to slip into feeling hopeless and that nothing can be done. Pain sufferers are often the butts of negative treatment and it's easy to end up feeling angry and victimized. And there is justification in these feelings. You probably did not cause your pain, and you are most likely unhappy with some parts of your treatment, but guess what? Life is unfair. Blaming others for your problems turns you into a victim, which is like giving away control of your life. You are being led by your emotion but remember that you do have a choice. Take control by being informed and communicating assertively with your doctor, practicing pain management strategies and pacing yourself along with relaxation and stress management.

You need to decide whether you want to be a victim or a survivor, a passenger or a driver. Your pain is no-one else's problem but your own. You do have rights and even responsibilities as a health consumer and a patient. Because chronic pain is difficult to detect or measure, you need to be an informed, active participant in your treatment. So don't be afraid to ask questions, don't be afraid to tell the doctor what you think and what you want, don't be afraid to ask for stronger pain relief.

Have a good working relationship with your doctor
An open and trusting relationship with your doctor is essential. This means being able to tell your doctor how you feel, ask questions and feel listened to and understood. The doctor-patient relationship should be a two-way street. Although you rely on your doctor's "expert" opinion for treatment advice, he depends on you for accurate information on which to base his decisions. It is your responsibility to describe your symptoms as accurately as possible and to report back regarding treatment outcomes, even if unfavorable.
Under-reporting of pain has been identified as one of the biggest causes of mismanagement of pain. The doctor-patient relationship can be undermined by bad communication, ignorance, arrogance and fear. For example, many people are actually afraid to tell their doctor how they are feeling for fear of being labeled as weak or a complainer. Other patients report down-playing the severity of their pain because they don't want their doctor to feel like a failure! You should feel that you can talk to your doctor, that he listens and respects you, and then be satisfied that he is working competently and thoroughly on your behalf. You also have a right to change doctors if you are dissatisfied.

Never ignore pain
In the treatment of chronic pain it has become fashionable to recommend ignoring pain (after medical investigations are complete) in the belief that it is only pain and there is nothing physically wrong.
This approach represents a pendulum-swing away from the old fashioned notion of prescribing bed-rest in favor of maintaining activity. The idea is that inactivity only leads to depression and does not help the problem anyway.

However, with certain types of pain, this can lead to a cycle of aggravation, sleep deprivation, exhaustion and increased pain and suffering, particularly if you are someone who typically ignores pain (ignoring pain is of course, what causes most repetitive strain injuries).
The other problem with ignoring pain is that every time pain occurs, it leaves an imprint in your nervous system, a kind of 'pain memory'. These repetitive pain experiences lead to over-stimulation of the nervous system and the generation of spontaneous pain signals, leading to a cycle of stress and pain. There are thus sound reasons for wanting to avoid pain, but again, total inactivity is not the answer. The best approach is a balanced one with paced activity levels and avoiding undue aggravation of the pain.

Have a balanced approach to physical activity

It can be tempting to adopt a "do nothing" approach, in the hope that you may avoid further pain. As I have indicated, since chronic pain is partly caused by neurological changes, avoiding activity will not stop the pain. Avoiding activity also leads to muscle wasting and a build-up of waste products in the tissues, which can actually exacerbate pain. At other times, you may feel frustrated and force yourself to complete relatively major tasks (eg mowing the lawns) knowing that it will hurt later. This may cause you to have to take two days of bed rest to recover. This "all or nothing" approach is inappropriate and ineffective in the long run. You need to learn to pace activity levels. You can do this on your own, via "trial and error" or with a bit of 'coaching' in the form of professional help. The support and guidance of a sympathetic health professional is highly desirable to maintain motivation and deal with fears and obstacles along the way.

Sleep!
Loss of sleep caused by inadequately managed pain can lead to a cycle of fatigue, depression and irritability. Inability to sleep, or waking up feeling tired, are signs that your pain is not being managed properly. Developing a restful sleep pattern is essential to coping with chronic pain. Improving your sleep will give you more energy and help you feel more able to cope.
There are many things you can do to get better sleep including relaxing, perhaps by taking a hot bath, listening to music before going to sleep; self-hypnosis; a good mattress; posture; medication; and good overall stress-management.

Make sure you have adequate support
Many chronic pain sufferers become isolated, alienated from loved ones, their work-mates and society. Inadequate social or emotional support can lead to isolation, depression, and increased risk of suicide. People who normally pride themselves on being independent and not needing others are particularly 'at risk'. Unfortunately, the negative reactions of others can discourage chronic pain sufferers from talking about their problems or seeking help. The unhelpful reactions of people you thought you could rely on can be very disappointing, it's another thing that falls into the 'life isn't fair' basket.

The reality is it's simply ridiculous to expect yourself to be able to cope on your own with a chronic illness that robs you of your ability to work love and play. Having adequate emotional support greatly increases

your ability to cope.
Talking to close family and friends is vital. A family talk with your doctor of psychologist can also help by enabling them to learn more about your condition and talk about things in a neutral environment.


Don't expect people who don't have pain to understand what it's like
It's frustrating, and easy to get angry when others don't seem to understand. However, because chronic pain sufferers often have no visible injury, it is easy for family and friends, and especially children, to forget there is anything wrong. They may also 'forget' because it is hard for them to have to live with the knowledge that a loved one is in pain.

So don't expect people who don't have pain to understand what it's like and be prepared to have to remind others about your limitations. Children especially cannot be expected to understand the implications of a condition like chronic pain. It's a lesson that has to be repeated many times.

Forgive yourself

The lost ability to work, love and play caused by chronic pain can create feelings of guilt and failure. Become aware of your own expectations and any feelings of shame or guilt and examine them critically. Chances are you didn't ask to be in pain. Repressed feelings of shame lead to resentment and later emerge as anger. Feeling guilty can also be a subtle form of self-indulgence - when you engage in self-blame you are really wallowing in self-pity. Forgiveness and letting go of guilt will be easier if you choose a proactive approach!

Finally, with acceptance, forgiveness and a balanced approach to managing your pain, you and your health care practitioner should be able to map out the program that works best for you. Pain is subjective, just as therapeutic approaches to pain are. Don’t give up and don’t give in to the dragon monster. Kick his butt if you will, and banish him from your life. This too, takes practice but as mundane as it sounds, actually visualizing kicking the pain monster you can conjure up in your mind’s eye can help, over time, to make you feel better and to understand that PAIN no longer is your master, rather – YOU control your own destiny.

Feel as good as you can, you can do it!
Fibro Girl

BLOG - Dr Skye Holdon

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Mood:  special
Topic: STUCK IN THE MIDDLE W/ME


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Strangers In The Night

STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH ME

There is a healthy part of me that surfaces mostly in my memories but occasionally surfaces to weakly wave on what I call the good days. Most of the time, the painful side of me rears its ugly head and dominates my life.

That leaves the real me, stuck in the middle of my two sides which are careening in balance towards the painful and debilitating side of my life.

Making friends and finding acceptance with the “sick” side of me has not been easy. There isn’t anything about this side of me that the “earlier” me particularly ca admire or like. I yearn in fact, for the earlier me, the real me, as I see myself, stuck between two images.

Balancing has become an art. To know that some day, and never knowing when, will come and I will actually feel almost like the real me is like dangling a carrot in front of a horse. I know that with a little luck, in the middle of the chaos and pain of constant illness, I will find a ray of sunshine and my body will be relatively “normal” and almost pain free for as many scant hours as possible, is my carrot of hope. For my rationale is that if the body can go into a respite or remission for even a few hours and I can rediscover my own s’elf within this time frame, then it is possible for my body to actually heal itself and become the person I once was. If this sounds a little too bubble gum for you, or overly optimistic, remember that dreams and hopes should be optimistic. If you let the darker side of your life become the reality, then your dreams will fade and your hopes will dissolve leaving you in a black hole of despair.

The point is that the REAL ME, is stuck between these two factions. The real me is a normal person. My mind functions normally, I still inhale life with gusto, I want to participate in life fully and without reservation and I want above all else, to run around in the sunshine of life without the monkey of pain riding on my back.

I try to remain as grounded and centered as I can for I feel that if I give in to my “sick” side, I will be giving in and giving up. If I concentrate on the few hours or minutes of remission that I occasionally have been able to enjoy, perhaps two or three times a year, albeit not a very healthy or enticing carrot, still and all, I can pin my hopes on healing my body from within. If I take the time to understand my illness, and to follow the path of the past, to discover the root causes, perhaps with more understanding, compassion and treatment, I can slowly gain back my wellness.

Keeping the mind clear and bright, concentrating on becoming the best person that you can be is vastly important to your wellbeing. And, to your recovery, no matter how slight or profound. Illness has a way of either building character or tearing it down. We can all become snippy, over reactive, ultra sensitive, self involved, centered and pitying, and we can all become witches. By the same token, we can carry our illness and pain to the other side of the spectrum and become the hallowed martyr, suffering in painful silence but making sure everybody knows what a hard and difficult time you are having. Or, you can remain positive, work on weak points of your character, develop compassion, understanding, and love for the human race and learn how to overcome slights, indignities and petty arguments with a cheerful smile and an optimistic heart. Yes, it is possible but not probable if you do not take the time to be introspective and to correct your faults. We all have faults, some dark and mean, some slight and fanciful and some that cause others concern or pain. We can all be subjective with our pain and illness but there are two ways of handling this. You can share your pain with others and at the same time provide comfort, love and support to others in the same situation. You can teach others by your reaction to negative things, by turning the other cheek with meaningful love and sincerity and by becoming one of the true warriors in the world. We can win the war of hate, murder, sniping, fighting etc., by turning the other cheek and offering love. We can stand up for the person who is so lost in themselves that they turn against others. We can light the way, just as Florence Nightingale lit the path for many nurses to come. It is not only a pre-requisite of evolving as a human being, but it also lights the path for the ones who follow in our painful shadow on how to deal and cope positively with the awful negativity of pain and illness.

Being stuck in the middle of YOU, is not such a bad place to be. It allows you to center in on all facets of life. Pain has a way of sharpening the senses, of nurturing humility, of growing seeds of peace, and of stabilizing love and compassion. Being in the middle allows you to drink in these young seedlings of hope. Pain does not have to be our master. We can rise above it most of the time if we concentrate on our own project or journey of life here on earth. Just as the pilgrims discovered how to cope with life in the wilds of North America, so can we learn by experience to cope with illness and pain and in return, pass on our knowledge to the younger generation. It is however, just as vital that they groom their minds and make ready to receive the knowledge or it is redundant.

I am stuck in the middle with me. I probably shall always be to some extent. But in keeping a smiling outlook, in maintaining a sunny disposition, and in helping others, it brings me to the place where I can always find somebody else who is worse off. That lets my tears of self-pity dry up instantly and gives me the courage to forge on with a positive message to all.

Love and Peace, FG

TRAPPED BY THE FIBRO DRAGON
Mood:  lyrical
Now Playing: Don't Worry, Be Happy
Topic: Making Peace With YOURSEL

Don't Worry Be Happy

Coping With The Betrayal of Your Body

You feel betrayed. You wonder, “Why me?”. You mourn the fact tat your body is letting you down. Your mind is keen, you have all the enthusiasm in the world, but your body will not get into gear and perform without a dose of pain that is unbearable to live with.

Is there help for those of us suffering with chronic pain? A host of pain medications advertised by drug manufacturers boast long lasting relief in seconds. Over time many chronic pain sufferers using these pain relievers discover stronger or more chemicals are needed to provide relief.
What then are we to do?

First …do what comes naturally…BREATHE!

Of course breathing is natural, but are you breathing during the pain?

Many people stop breathing and hold their breath or change their normal breathing pattern when experiencing pain. This sets off a chain reaction in the mind. By holding your breath and tensing your muscles in response to your pain, you are giving your self mixed messages about your pain and how you wish your body to respond to it. By responding to your pain in that way; what are you telling your body? When in pain --- respond with shortness of breath ( thus reducing oxygen intake, tightening muscles, restricting blood flow, increase pain, elevate heart rate, etc…). This puts you in a cage of uncomfortably adding to your pain problems.

Pain is your body’s natural warning system. It draws your attention to an imbalance in the body so that it can be restored to balance as quickly as possible. You don’t have to listen to the body’s alarm constantly to address it. Such as the fire alarm blast, a few short blasts and you are aware of the need to respond, but you don’t have to hear it blast constantly to douse the fire.

During the healing process, it is important that we learn to feel relaxed and confident. When we are tense and anxious we retard the body’s natural tendency toward perfect health and balance. You can compliment your medical advisor’s pain management program with plans and techniques of your own. You can do your part by brining harmony and balance through a positive thought process along with mindful breathing. You already have all the power you need to change your life…breathe and change your mind,

There is absolutely nothing stopping you from doing those things that you really want to do...you just have to choose...yes choose which things you won't do in order to get those things that you do want. Making your life a priority is not selfishness, it is sanity!

When was the last time you said NO and stuck to it when asked to overburden you with a job someone else didn't or wouldn't do? We all rationalize our behavior by saying "well, I am healthy and active and I can do it", but at this pace, for how long? Our longing to do so, outweighs our common sense. Our sense of guilt regarding being ill and in pain and thus feeling like a quarter of a person makes us want to respond in the positive to all requests. Thus, we often let ourselves tumble and the expectations of others down. You may feel you are betraying others, being selfish, ungrateful, and all those negative feelings that have kept you strung out for this long. Start out small at first and build on those little things you love to do. You want to feel empowered but supportive of others and that takes time when you are accustomed to "no problem, I can handle that or I'll be glad to," etc.


Make your list and check it twice. It is totally OK to be nice to yourself. It is really desirable to feel yourself to be worthy. It is absolutely OK for you to feel at peace with yourself. Make an effort to become your own best friend, be kind and considerate to yourself, and appreciate your talents, gifts and special abilities. You are unique; there is no other person just like you. When joy comes from within, like a mirror, it is reflected to everyone and everything in encounters. Let your life be one of great joy and let it be a refection of you, an inspiration to others because you celebrate your life, not because you can, but because you want to.

All you have to do is choose.

You already know how to make it right for everyone else..
.isn't it TIME you make it right for you?

When you feel the pain, guilt and rejection, brought about by someone else's impression or opinions of your illness or appearance...STOP!

Think on these statements before you react and begin to believe that unsettling assault. What are they gaining by making me feel worthless? What is it about that person that would make them feel better for making me feel bad? How miserable a life this person must have...to find pleasure in creating pain in others? Is the opinion of others one that I truly believe about myself?

Changing your perspective of the person will create in you a feeling of understanding and control. No one that feels good about themselves creates pain in another... They are dumping their issues ON you because you are vulnerable and often, you accept it and agree with them. If you feel good, you want everyone to feel good. On the other hand when you are feeling down, you are confused and frightening, negativity flourishes.

Instead of being the victim of a paralyzing verbal attack, you can look at the attacker with a broader, wiser perspective. It is not your job to make them feel better by becoming hurt or humiliated. Most often they don't even realize, consciously why or how much pain they are inflicting. Not to mention how much pain they are feeling themselves. They are simply reacting to their unrecognized, underlying pain. If you notice how the depleting attacks on you often energize, almost invigorates the attacker, while leaving you feeling like the bottom of a puddle, drained and disoriented.

They are drawing from you much needed energy...which fills them with good feelings, power, and strength. I like to call them energy suckers. . When they leave the room everyone in it sighs a sigh of relief. You can actually feel it, physically.How can you make it stop? Armed with this knowledge, you can begin to forgive...several times a day...forgive them...for they know not what they do. They see life through the clouded view of their own misery.

Forgive yourself, for doubting yourself. Forgiveness does not condone the person’s actions, but instead sets you free from the prison of misery and misunderstanding that surrounds you both.

Smile knowing with this awareness and understanding you increase your energy and are free to create a strong positive environment. With love and understanding they too, will grow and learn to forgive. Forgive them now, and set yourself free. Hey, school is out for summer, but you will never stop learning. Begin today to draw from your infinite resources in your mind, bringing back that awesome, powerful, and creative person, add the wisdom you have gain throughout the years and continue to grow and learn. Hey, you're not finished yet; the best perhaps, is yet to come...Imagine that? Now, go play! Take a nice deep breath and have a great summer!
Love, FG

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Topic: PACK UP YOUR TROUBLES
BYE BYE BLUES



Coping With Stress, Anxiety, and Fears

I think sometimes, that I am one huge ball of stress! No matter what happens, it seems to me that one thing after another occurs and leaves me either shaking with relief or trembling with anxiety. I feel that if somebody were to pick me up and shake me, I would not be surrounded by fairy like snow prisms, but rather crack in a million pieces and crash to the floor. Like Humpty Dumpty, I do not think that my pieces could ever be put back together again. So in recognizing that illness and pain aggravates stress, anxiety and fear, I have set out to lay a plan for myself on how to cope, sharing as usual with my faithful readers.

How To Cope With Stress, Anxiety, and Fears

After determining the nature and seriousness of the stressful situation I am in, my first priority is to decide what I can do about it. Do I need professional help? If not, how well can I handle the threatening or challenging situation that I face? My honest answer to this question--my ability to cope--determines, along with my assessment of the importance and severity of the problem, how anxious or scared I will be. I have learned that this is where my skills, knowledge, practice, experience, optimism, courage, etc. can come into play--where they pay off for me. This is where I can pit all my self-help ability against the threatening forces created by situation. My personal level of anxiety will indicate the outcome of this battle: for if I develop and carry out a good battle plan, I should be able to hold the anxiety to a moderate level (assuming the stresses are controllable). I know that if I start to feel helpless, deny or run away, or, worse yet, start to blame
myself for the problem, I will suffer a higher level of distress in the long term.

In reading about evaluations of the effectiveness of ordinary methods of dealing with stressful situations I have found out that the most effective methods of untrained people were:

Taking responsibility for planning a way to cope
Taking rational calm action and avoiding rash impulsive reactions
Seeking advice and support
Looking for something to "get out of it," i.e. to learn from difficult situations, express feelings privately but not publicly, stay confident, and use humor.

The poorest responses to stress were:
Being hostile and confrontational
Publicly venting strong feelings
Self-blaming and recrimination
Indecisiveness
Ignoring or denying or downplaying the problem hoping it will go away
Keeping feelings to self or suppressing emotions
Giving up trying
Escaping by watching TV, working, eating, smoking, or drinking a lot
In short, people who handle difficult situations well are
(1) quick to take responsibility for handling the problems that come along
(2) confident of their ability to deal with life's challenges
(3) actually able to assess the situation accurately, seeking help as needed, and devising a good plan of action (after considering many alternative approaches)
(4) effective in carrying out the plan
(5) learning and growing with each problem so that I can face the future with optimism.

Well, of course! That's Superhuman!

The question is how do you learn all these good things, right?
Coping is not a process that comes easy or natural to anyone.
It requires a conscientious, determined effort to learn about specific ways of coping with diverse stresses long before the troubles arrive
An openness to many solutions
Careful observation of many peoples' coping experiences
The courage to try different kinds of solutions
And a willingness to honestly evaluate the effectiveness of your efforts to handle stressful situations

Coping with stress requires effort over time and involves the same self-help steps as any other problem! So let’s get familiar with a wide variety of theoretically sound ways of handling stress.

Since there are so many sources or causes of stress, there will be many possible "cures" or means of relief. Moreover, your stress-reduction techniques need to be tailored to you personally. The only way to know if some self-help method will work for you is to try it.

This may all seem overwhelming but you need to be familiar with many approaches because you will face many different kinds of stress in your lifetime. The more competent you are with many alternative solutions to problems, the better your chances of winning your battles with stress. Do not try to control stress with cigarettes, alcohol, excessive eating, shopping, gambling, excessive TV or music, etc. Some treatment methods will probably work for you whether you understand where your stress came from or not. A quick, easy solution is great... sometimes.

For instance, a relaxation technique or tranquilizing drugs will slow and calm you down.

If the stress is short-lived, a little relaxation may be all you need. However, if the threat you face is persistent, relaxation or drugs, either legal or illegal, deal only with surface symptoms, they do not remove or alter the underlying threatening causes. So, when the relaxation or drug effect wears off, the original stress usually comes back. And, you are back to square one.

As with behaviors, many stresses can not be mastered without understanding the causes and history of the emotions. The treatment you need may have to be tailored to your specific problem
(which includes your own unique underlying sources of the stress if any)

Some self-help approaches may, at first, seem unlikely to work. For instance, if you want to reduce your tension and anxiety, to escape the pressures you are feeling, what will probably seem to you most likely to be effective are techniques that would help you calm down and relax. And those methods are certainly reasonable choices, but research has shown that having positive experiences and feelings decreases our negative emotions, including stress, anxiety, depression, anger and dependency. So, an anxious person might also want to focus on increasing the positive events and feelings in their life. This might include planning and doing interesting things, stopping to "smell the roses," and looking for the positive aspects of your situation. Or reading and practicing positive self-changes (more optimism, more happiness, higher self-esteem, greater toughness), taking pride in planning and using ways to handle the anxiety, and having more fun. Or it could be seeking more and deeper social contact and support, etc. There are many ways to get where you want to go--be open-minded but make use of research-based self-help methods.

Learning to acquire an in depth understanding of stress will give you confidence, and motivation to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Here is a list of possible self-help approaches, but first heed this caution.
***Warning, If you have serious psychological problems, you should seek professional help immediately and not attempt to self-help yourself***

Attacking the behavioral-environmental parts of the problem
Confront the stressful (but harmless) situation --there are researchers who contend that the most effective way (maybe the only way) to reduce a fear or phobia is to repeatedly face and handle the scary situation if you can.
You need to find out that the imagined awful consequences don't actually occur.

So, if you are afraid of swimming, go swimming every day and do it safely. If you are uncomfortable meeting people, go to parties and socialize more, go out of your way to meet new people. If you are afraid of speaking up in class, try to ask a question or make a comment, when appropriate, everyday in some class. Take a speech class.

This idea of getting back on a horse that has thrown you as soon as possible is not a new idea.
Most therapists today agree that it is essential to practice approaching and handling stress, rather than avoiding it.

First, it may help to learn a good approach by watching others (a model), seeking advice or correcting some false ideas you have about the situation

Then, one might want to covertly (in imagination) rehearse or to role-play with a friend an improved approach to the situation. Some planning and practice may be helpful, but don't get bogged down over-preparing. Go do something! Take a friend along if there is any danger or if you need support. You may also prefer to expose yourself to more threatening situations gradually, developing skills and confidence as you go. It doesn't matter much if you are scared, what matters is that you have the courage to do it and stay in the scary situation long enough to master it. It is important to learn to confront your fears.

Keep in mind that we are speaking only of physically harmless situations. On the other hand, if you are afraid of water, a very real fear if you can't swim, it would be physically dangerous and emotionally traumatic--just plain stupid--to go into deep water. Always protect yourself from real dangers! Therefore, exposure does not always work.

If you find yourself playing out little rituals of behavior, like washing your hands excessively or checking the locks on the doors and windows several times every night, understand that this is an attempt of reduce your anxiety. To stop these useless behaviors, the most common approach is to expose ourselves to the situation that sets off the compulsion but prevent the behavior--the useless rituals--from occurring.

Looking for the source --if you don't know the causes of your tension (called free-floating anxiety), a careful analysis will be worthwhile.

Try making up a rating scale for your anxiety. Whenever the stress increases, record in a journal the severity and what is going on: when it is, where you are, what you are doing, whom you are with, what you are thinking, what you would like to be doing, what else you are feeling, etc. Try to figure out the causes. Remember social uneasiness, depression, anger, and other reactions to stress may be inherited. Also, chemicals and physiological conditions, like poor sleep, diet, premenstrual changes, and hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), cause emotions too, so look for those causes as well.


Escape the stress --if practical, one might simply avoid the uncomfortable situation. Changing your environment is an important self-help method. This approach is most appropriate for a short-term stress, but it can also involve escaping a constantly stressful environment for a few minutes of relief. For the person under continuous pressure--a demanding job, conflict with a co-worker, your own competitive drive, undergoing a life crisis--it is good to "take a break" every 2 or 3 hours by scheduling and insisting on some time for yourself.

What can you do? Meditate. Nap. Exercise (60% say exercise mellows them out but few do it).

Call a friend. Take a break to socialize. You can do other things to improve your environment: avoid the person who "drives you crazy."

Take the bus instead of driving. Reduce the noise. Also, be sure you allocate your time wisely; do the most important work first, allow a little extra time, learn to say no.


If you are in an unavoidable stressful environment, build up your strength whenever you can. Get exercise and plenty of sleep; find something interesting to do during your time off--a good book, a craft or hobby, a vacation. Relax listening to music or playing a game or watching mindless TV. Occasionally, take time for yourself, away from everyone if possible. Do new and fun things on weekends.

Be sure to examine your own attitude to see if the "pressure" is coming from you.

Are you a perfectionist or an irritable Type A personality?

Do you always have to sound brilliant and look sharp?

Are you frequently angry?

Is this because you blame others for your troubles?

Are you anxious to beat out someone in your department?

Ask yourself: how important is this?

Maybe you should take the pressure off yourself and lighten up.

Do you always try to please others, putting in extra time on the job or spending holidays with relatives or doing what your spouse wants or doing something every weekend with the children? Decide what you would like to do part of the time! Try doing something different.
Sometimes a particularly troublesome task, person, or topic of conversation could be avoided without any serious loss. By just not attending to the sources of threat, we can avoid some stresses. Remember the experienced parachutist checks the equipment carefully but doesn't think much about both his/her main and reserve chutes not opening. Use thought stopping on useless worries. Do not borrow trouble.

A word of caution: remember escaping from fear is reinforcing. Also, avoiding a scary task strengthens the frightening ideas and neglects testing the false ideas that produce the fears. So, when you stay away from a person or a situation that upsets you, you are likely to tell yourself "I'm coping with this pretty well," but the fears are still there. Your life is still restricted. Indeed, the longer and harder you work to avoid the upsetting situation, the more intense the fear of that situation may become. Besides, you have no practice coping with these kinds of situations. So, use this method with caution.

The main thing is to realize and comprehend what is making you experience stress, anxiety and fear. Just singling out the causes will go a long way to your finding a solution and learning to cope and deal with your problems. In doing so, your symptoms of illness and pain will be softened and life will be much easier.

I have been working on this program and wanted to share it with you. I am learning not to sweat the small stuff and to let a lot of things that normally would haunt me or bother me all night, to fly over my head like clouds in a windstorm. I no longer look for trouble. I no longer anticipate it. Instead, I look at the silver lining and it brings me contentment and joy within. It calms my soul and soothes my spirit, just like that olde time rock n roll!

Until next time, FG
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Topic: SOWING SEEDS OF RECOVERY
BLACK MAGIC WOMAN



Sowing The Seeds Of Recovery

WE may not get well when suffering from Fibromyalgia, but we can recover somewhat. Meaning that we can recover some parts of our lives, cherish our memories and reach out to the future with good hope and cheer. Chronic pain is depressing and it robs a person of the wealth of happiness we were meant to accumulate as we age. Instead, we put our pain memories in the bank and watch the balance rise in misery as it falls in happiness.

We can do something about this but we have to change our attitudes. I find that if I continue to be positive things change for me. It is like a breath of fresh air. Positive thoughts, positive affirmations and acting positive goes a long way in cementing friendships or relationships that may go sour due to our ill health. How can we accomplish this when just putting one foot ahead of the other seems to be insurmountable.

It is not easy but there is a method you can use that I use to retain my sense of humor and love of life. I never did see why I should compromise my own self to become somebody else just because my body is torturing me. My mind is the same, my heart is the same, so it’s the third element – my body – that has let me down. Well, it’s outnumbered. And I intend to keep it that way.

I have a system. I am sharing this with you today because I am fighting depression and pain today big time. I keep a treasure chest of happy and golden memories in my heart. I save them up greedily and I do not let them go. I mentally file them into my heart and I put them under Liquid sunshine. Then, when I have a rough day, or a few rough days, weeks or months, I have a reserve of liquid sunshine to fall back on. While I store my liquid sunshine, I also file the happy back up copies in my mind. I visualize doing this. For I do treasure every minute of happiness I can squeeze out of my life. Every smile brings me yet another bounty of liquid sunshine and this seems to lead me down a happier and sunnier path.

This is how my plan works for me. I keep the sunshine in my heart and when I reach a stumbling block, I visualize opening the little trunk and pumping out some of the sunshine right into my brain where I need it most. In other words, I recall a wonderful and happy memory and in thinking about it and reliving it, a smile comes to my lips and the depression eases. Conversely you can worsen depression and pain by dragging in negative and unhappy things that have happened to you. In essence, it is concentrating on the positive things in your life, which in turn, begets more positive things which in turn, gives you some relief from the situation you are in.

Nobody says that coping with FM is easy. Nobody pretends that the pain is not terribly hard to live with. What I say though, is that we can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear against all the odds if we try hard enough. Anything we want to achieve we can do.

Putting the focus off oneself and pain also helps. It is so easy to fall into the trap of talking about pain and illness all the time because frankly, we live in a deep valley of pain and illness and the driving pain keeps us almost hypnotized and it becomes not our greatest challenge but our only refuge. We delve into the pain and try to get people to understand just how much pain we are suffering. We are never quite sure that our pain is validated. We seem to need reinforcement from healthy people that they really commiserate and understand out pain. We have an acute need for validation. This probably refers back to the fact that the carrotheads in our lives have not validated Fibromyalgia until up to now, and although some are doing so, there is still the archaic medical belief that it is a conjecture of our tortured imaginations and that abuse, degradation, failing to meet our goals, disappointing ourselves etc. is the culprit. Many carrotheads still think that if we straighten up our lives, we will be cured. This is unbelievable in this day and age. But it is a fact.

Therefore, most of us cannot rely on the carrotheads for validation. Some of us can, and if this is so, we thank our lucky stars and pray we do not lose track of the medical provider who has the intelligence, experience and know how in believing, understanding and validating our illness. This makes a tremendous difference.

If our friends understand, if our loved ones understand, we feel comforted far beyond any medication relief. I have yet to meet a person with FM who does not yearn for people to understand that FM exists, and that comfort is a needy requirement.

We don’t want them to slobber all over us, but we need to know that our nearest and dearest believe in us. That is the nucleus of the problem. We feel that many people do not believe the intensity of the pain we struggle with and it hurts the heart, another stinging sort of pain, but also damaging to our will to survive and live our lives as pleasantly as possible.

Therefore, I use the liquid sunshine method and I challenge everybody else to try it. Save up those memories as you do photos in a scrapbook, and just as you pour over the photos with nostalgia, happy memories and love, so can you also do this with your liquid sunshine memories.

Until Next time
FG

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Topic: NOTHING COMES FR NOTHING
Yesterday



Nothing Comes From Nothing
Nothing Ever Could


You know I often think that my sad little life is a tiny little life with no meaning, that I have no meaning anymore due to my incapacitation and illness. My pain and illness stops me from being who I am, doing what I want to do, and inhaling life with gusto. Instead, I find that I have to creep from day to day, hoping to make the day through with a minimum of pain.

I have been practicing letting steam off by distracting myself. For years this has worked for me. For nothing comes from nothing, and nothing ever could. So in order to be productive, I file my pain way up in the air on top of me where it is not easily reached and essentially rise above it. Every now and then it knock knocks at my door and I tremble for I cannot control the agony but in a lot of ways, I have conditioned myself to cope with the pain by filing it away in the ethers.

How do I do this? I simply visualize filing it away in a neat little white box. It has to look pretty because pain can be very ugly. It gets filed away under P for PAIN. P for possibilities. P for probable execution, P for perfectly fed up!

So how do I distract myself? There are one hundred ways to do it. You can use music, art, reading, crafts, housework, writing, sex, exercise, journaling, baby sitting, volunteering, driving, shopping, computer usage, meditation, prayer, letter writing, cooking, playing with your pet, gardening, the list goes on and on. The main point is to wake up in the morning with a planned agenda NO MATTER WHAT. Because at the risk of repeating myself, nothing comes from nothing and nothing ever could.

Therefore if you distract yourself from illness and pain you are learning to make something out of nothing. For if you allow yourself to be submerged in pain and illness, bitterness and lack of enthusiasm for life will result and you will find that depression will creep insidiously into your heart and soul, making your life miserable. If you distract yourself with positive tasks, you are literally creating something positive out of nothing, which is a negative.

It is also important to think positively. Every time a negative thought creeps into your mind, learn to delete it right away and replace it with a golden thought. Sounds smarmy and corny but it helps and if you do it enough, you will find that you automatically replace the negative nothing with the positive something.

Remember that nothing comes from nothing, and nothing ever could.

Learn to inject liquid sunshine into your heart and mind every moment a dark shadow threatens to engulf you. Distract yourself from the enemy of pain, illness and depression. Learn to do this consciously until it becomes a reflex action and you will find that your days will pass in a more positive way, even though the pain is filed away for a few hours, it is a blessed relief.

Until Next time, FG

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Mood:  crushed out
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Topic: Carrotheads make salads
Desperado



The stupid things health care professionals say to people with diseases such as CFS, FM, Lyme and chronic pain.

I have never been lucky with carrotheads. (doctors) Years ago, I was dx’d with FM and I was branded for many years. I could not get any treatment barring the usual, get a life, do something to distract yourself, exercise and you will get better, swallow amitriptyline and it will help. NOTHING HELPED. And certainly not the sage (NOT) advice given to me. Years
later I got braver and started to advocate for myself. I understood that many doctors bungle Graves Disease. That they know little or nothing about the real cause, never mind the real pain of Fibromyalgia, and that they have us listed as hysterical females with too much time on our hands.

They treated me nicely but never did anything for me. STRESS provokes it, most of them said but you are handling it well. YOU ARE DOING SO WELL. I told them about the pain which they ignored. Carrotheads do not like to hear about pain. It actually irritates them, especially if you are a female. If you are an older female, forget even mentioning it. They believe it is post menopausal sydrome or that we are afraid to age. Give me a break!

What needs to be known is that, as time has marches on, there are an increasing number of laboratories and tests that are finding all sorts of abnormalities in patients like us. The fact that many of these tests aren't offered by the homogenized super-labs that have gobbled up other regional labs seems to make them less credible to many doctors, so they ignore diagnostic tools that are in fact available to them.

Some other tests that have been around for awhile are laughably outdated, like California labs working on Lyme, tests developed based on eastern US and European organisms. They know have the fMRI, if you are lucky enough to gain access to this machine. This scan has proven that we have faulty pain receptors in our pain centers. They are not yet sure why, but the evidence is pointing towards a viral infection. One that has been living in our bodies almost all of our lives in most cases, and one that does not have a cure. There are tons of FM clinics out there who promise the moon, but in reality nobody knows what it is, and what will make us healthy again. But our time is coming. Patience, they say is a virtue. To me, Patience is my sister!

Many laboratory tests, especially for tick- and insect-borne microorganisms, are still in their relative infancy, with false negatives and "presumptive positives" the norm rather than the exception in addition to poorly understood vectors and routes of transmission. Adding to the problem is the fact since the microorganisms organisms do not appear in every blood, urine or spinal fluid sample taken from patients, single tests are inconclusive as far as providing concrete documentation from a pathology lab of the well-defined constellation of symptoms reported by the patient. Further compounding the situation is that bacteria, viruses, and other microorganisms have learned a great deal about adaptation and survival in the billions of years they have been around. They are far more complex than the simple tests and attitudes that represent the "best" of modern medicine, and are being increasingly implicated in diseases once though to have nothing to do with microorganisms. (To date, some forms of ulcers, heart disease, cancer, and multiple sclerosis have all been traced to microorganisms. How soon medicine has forgotten that ovarian cancer and MS were once dismissed as "hysterical" disorders.)


In the case of CFS, MCS, Lyme and many other clinically diagnosed diseases for which there is yet no indisputable cut-and-dried lab test, abnormal neurocognitive, MRI and SPECT test results support many of the symptoms reported by these patients. The latter procedures are quite expensive and so rarely recommended by fee-for-service physicians, and woe be the HMO patient who dares request such a test from their primary care physician.

Patients with hormone disorders, including acute thyroiditis, go through much the same thing, being told by their doctors that they must be fine because their test results are "within normal range". Apparently, for these doctors, looking at a piece of paper is more important than actually looking at and listening to the patient. This is prevelant in North America.

THE CARROTHEADS BABBLE

After years of navigating the health care field trying to find providers who "get it", patients have learned to recognize carrotheads by the things they say, often during their first meeting. The following idiot platitudes have been related to me through the years, or heard mentioned in groups around the Internet.

Idiocy such as what follows must be recognized for what it is: the failure of the carrothead to find out what is wrong and work to help the patient, not the fault of the patient for getting sick to begin with and not getting better.


Psychiatrists

There are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be happy, and those who choose to be unhappy.

You just have to decide which one you are going to be.

You aren't sick - it's just PTSD from when you were [raped, abused as a child, victim of a violent crime

You can't believe what you read on the Internet. This is a biggie. Cannot believe Harvard Medical School? It is obviously a carrothead ego trip.

Carrotheads

Your positive test result for Lyme disease is because a deer must have been in your yard.

What you need is a thorough breast exam [which the endocrinologist stated he would perform himself, of course].

There are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be sick and those who choose not to be sick. You just have to decide which one you are.
Your test results are all within the normal range, so I suggest a life style makeover.

You have multiple chemical sensitivity. Go camping.

There is no Lyme in [pick any of the states in which Lyme have been reported].

Take up wrestling. Look how lively they all are.

Your blood counts are off so it must be a computer error. Yup, its an error.

You are extraordinarily healthy for you age, you just think you don't feel well.

You just have to learn to live with it.

You're not a doctor - you don't know how you feel.

You aren't sick - it's just PTSD from when you were [raped, abused as a child, victim of a violent crime, or other traumatic event]

You can't believe what you read on the Internet.

Support groups make people sicker. Stay away from the nutcases. They are all hypochondriacs.

You don't have Lyme. Lyme disease is a myth. Besides, it's not true that people get it back east. You do not have CFS either. CFS is another myth. Only the rich and famous get that anyway. And you do not have Fibromyalgia. That is a joke. Move over, and let me lie down, its been a long day.


Neurologists

You are having small seizures but the machines are very sensitive so it doesn't matter.
You aren't sick - it's just PTSD from when you were [raped, abused as a child, victim of a violent crime].
I'm sorry to tell you, but antibiotics are just a placebo. Shall I write you a prescription?
You just have to learn to live with it. I won’t touch you until your neck hangs from a thread. See that man in the waiting room? He needs an operation, (checking his watch) tapping his fingers on the desk.
You can't believe what you read on the Internet. It is all hysterical HYPE.

Public Health Department Physicians & Researchers

A positive diagnosis for Lyme includes the appearance of a bull's-eye rash at least 5 mm in diameter. (Many Lyme cases never get any rash, and many of those who do get bull's-eye raches have bull's-eye's smaller than 5 mm.)
You just have to learn to live with it. CFS is for the rich and those exposed to Polio vaccines. Fibromyalgia is a bunch of muscles protesting your life style. Do weight training to get them in shape. YAWN

Nutritionists

Eat only organic foods. No meat, no sugar, no dairy, no wheat.
Eat only organic vegan.
Eat only rare beef and drink raw milk. But just look at the meat. And throw the dairy.
Take your vitamins, as many as you like often.
We have a cure, but it will cost you.

Chiropractors

You just have a subluxation.
You must forgive anyone who has ever hurt you, then you will be well.
You are out of alignment. Did you ever swim the channel?
Your neck is in rough shape. You should see somebody about this.
I won’t touch backs.
I'm sorry to tell you, but antibiotics are just a placebo. Do you want a prescription now?


FRIENDS AND FAMILY
You used to be so active
Why don’t you get a hobby?
But you look so great? How can you be sick?
I am starting to think you do not like me.
Why don’t you get a part time job?
Do you realize what you are doing to your family?
Why don’t you get over it and over yourself.
This is just a tad about YOU YOU YOU isn’t it?
Do you know that antibiotics are a placebo? Why don’t you ask your doctor for some?
I think its all in your head, so does everybody else.
Have you thought of counselling?
If you lost a few pounds, you might feel better.
Have a baby.
Are you thinking about divorce?
Is your husband having an affair?
Does your Mother know you gained ten pounds?
Your poor husband.
Your poor kids. Honestly, I could not take it.
If the pain is so bad, why do you eat so much?
Try step dancing, it will fix up your muscles. Just look at mine!
Till next time, FG

Trapped by the FM Dragon
Mood:  blue
DOn't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Chocolate, they say, is a girl’s best friend. I get the cravies for sugar when I am in pain, and that makes me crave it most of the time. I know that sugar accelerates pain and yet my body seems to think it needs it. I wonder why this is? My body is craving the very poison that threatens to destroy it. I find that the sweet melting of a piece of dark, rich chocolate in my mouth is almost sensual in pleasure, but the guilt after I have swallowed often makes me wonder why I cave in to my desire. I also crave salt. All the junk food in the world cannot seem to satisfy me when this grabs hold of me.

I read somewhere that Fibro gals crave sugar. There is something in our metabolic system that triggers off a craving for sweets.

Most of us know that the most common signs and symptoms of fibromyalgia are: widespread muscle pain, morning stiffness, non-restorative sleep and daytime fatigue.

Cold, damp weather and strenuous physical activity can severely aggravate conditions.

Other common symptoms often found in fibromyalgia patients include irritable bowel syndrome, myalgia (muscle pain), arthralgia (joint pain), generalized muscle weakness, stiffness, numbness, swelling, tingling, lightheadedness when standing, migraine and tension headaches.

Cognitive problems such as not being able to "think straight" or remember things are also frequently linked to FM.

These 'forgetful' episodes of short term memory or concentration impairment are referred to as 'fibrofog.'

It's a frustrating, often scary, situation when you find yourself unable to remember things you've known 'forever,' like your own phone number or even your children's names.

And it's certainly not hard to see why depression and anxiety are often common problems for those with fibromyalgia.

Chronic pain and loss of sleep can cause even the most cheerful person to experience these feelings.

And because it's often hard to diagnose, the frustration and feelings of isolation that follow remarks like 'this is all in your head' or 'would you like the name of a psychiatrist' often intensifies feelings of depression and anxiety.

In fact, neurotransmitter deficiencies and imbalances are a common part of fibromyalgia.

These may have something to do with the prevalence of mood disorders, but also sleep and digestive problems.

Another condition related to fibromyalgia is "subjective swelling," a feeling that an area is swollen even though there is no physical change in the site. And the list of symptoms goes on ...

TMJ (temporomandibular joint dysfunction - a painful disorder of the jaw joints), dry eyes and mouth, eye twitching, temperature sensitivity such as intolerance to cold or dizzy 'fainting spells' in hot conditions, exercise intolerance, Raynaud's Disease (sporadic attacks of blood vessel spasms resulting in interruption of the blood flow to the fingers, toes, ears and nose), hearing problems, mitral valve prolapse, fever, osteoarthritis, polymyalgia rheumatica.

As well as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), multiple food and/or chemical sensitivities, Rheumatoid arthritis, Sjogren's syndrome (systemic autoimmune disease that affects the musculoskeletal system and organs), sore throat, swollen lymph nodes, chronic rhinitis (runny nose), skin problems, vertigo, urinary problems, vulvar pain syndrome (vaginal pain and spasms, painful intercourse), PMS, menstrual cramping, eating disorders, digestive problems, weight gain, candidiasis (yeast infections), immune system weaknesses.

And ADD/ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), Gulf War Syndrome, Post Polio Syndrome, etc.

Nearly half of the females who have fibromyalgia also have hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), or reactive hypoglycemia (low amounts of usable sugar).

Studies indicate that 40 percent of females have fibroglycemia (a combination of both) and 20 percent of men with FM also have it.

Symptoms of hypoglycemia include an intense craving of sweets,tremors,sweating,panic attacks, heart palpitations,faintness,confusion,and frontal headaches.

Fibromyalgia Causes

Although an exact cause of fibromyalgia is unknown, there are several underlying conditions that contribute to the disorder. Treatment is usually focused on reducing the severity of the symptoms related to the most prominent conditions.

Neurotransmitter (chemicals that communicate between nerve cells) levels in fibromyalgia patients are often disrupted, causing bodywide imbalances. Any of the following neurotransmitters may be disrupted in fibromyalgia, resulting in a wide range of possible symptoms, and requiring different treatments.

All of these substances work together, starting and stopping different reactions to allow us to respond to our environment. If they are out of balance, certain reactions that are helpful in moderation may run out of control. The causes of this disruption are unknown.

Acetylcholine - This neurotransmitter controls heart contraction, mucus production in the upper respiratory tract, digestive enzyme secretion, sweating, and the contractions of the stomach, intestines, and eliminatory organs. Involuntary motion and thoughts are also associated with improper levels of acetylcholine.

Adrenaline and Noradrenaline - These complementary neurotransmitters are most known for their connection with stress, and the 'fight or flight' response system. They both regulate energy consumption in the body. Adrenaline is associated with sugar metabolism and insulin production, and is thought to be released into the body too quickly in response to carbohydrates in reactive hypoglycemics.

Noradrenaline inhibits digestion, and lowers the body temperature and pain threshold. High levels of these chemicals can create a restless, oversensitive, high anxiety state that may quickly burn out the body's energy reserves. Low levels can cause an apathetic, low energy state, common in fibromyalgia.

Dopamine - This neurotransmitter controls motor activity and concentration. Too much can cause muscle cramps and anxiety, while too little may lead to fatigue and lethargy. ADD and ADHD, more common in fibromyalgia patients, are sometimes associated with low levels of dopamine in certain areas of the brain.

GABA (gamma-amino-n-butyric acid) - GABA affects both mood and muscle tone. Low levels can be responsible for muscle spasm and tightness, as well as mood and memory dysfunction.

Histamine - This chemical is released in our bodies when we are exposed to either a trauma or a toxin. Sometimes histamine production is too high, raising the body's alarm system when there is no danger.

This is how common allergies occur, and why antihistamines are so effective. (A different mechanism is at work in food intolerance, as opposed to allergy.) Excess histamine production may result in red, watery eyes, headache, stomach upset, or low blood pressure.

Serotonin - A disruption (usually a deficiency) of serotonin is common in fibromyalgia. This chemical regulates mood, digestion, weight, sleep, blood pressure, pain sensitivity, and motivation.

Individuals who are prone to migraine or nonrestorative sleep are especially likely to have deficiencies in serotonin. SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) work by increasing levels of this chemical, and this may be why they are effective for some patients.

Substance P - This chemical regulates pain sensations, stomach contractions, blood pressure and mucus production.

Peptides - These chemicals are related to how individuals feel pain. Many people have heard of endorphins, which are the 'feel good' peptides released naturally during moderate exercise. A lack or surplus of any peptides may increase our likelihood of experiencing pain, or reduce our resistance to pain sensations. dditional underlying factors include deficiencies of nutrients such as magnesium. This can cause muscle cramps upon exertion and upon awakening.

It has also been suggested that a buildup of phosphorus in the body may be responsible for the condition. (Guaifenisin treatment is thought to work by eliminating extra phosporus.)If that is the case, it suggests an explanation for the normal blood test results often received by fibromyalgia patients.

Other possible causes of fibromyalgia symptoms are hypoxia (lack of oxygen in body tissues), muscular injury, muscular atrophy, emotional stress, digestion, and mood disorders. Still another possibility is the onset of infections or viral exposures.

More than half of fibromyalgia patients said this occurred prior to the onset of their symptoms.

Included among these are Lyme Disease (infection that manifests itself as a multi-system inflammatory disease), Human Immunodeficiency virus, Coxsackie Virus (common source of infection in children that often causes flu-like symptoms), Epstein-Barr (member of the herpes virus family, often associated with chronic fatigue), or Streptococcus and Parvovirus (virus that can cause joint pain and swelling) as well as New Variant Brocellosis Virus.

Lack of regular physical exercise seems to be a factor although it is not known whether lack of conditioning promotes pain or vice versa. While exercise is often invigorating for healthy individuals, it can exhaust a fibromyalgia sufferer, sometimes for days. Sometimes the symptoms began much earlier than the fibromyalgia patient realizes. Thirty percent of patients remember having 'growing pains' in childhood that seemed to disappear before puberty. These pains seem to reappear more severely later on in adulthood.

There is also some indication that fibromyalgia can be hereditary, as it tends to run in families.Incidence of sleep disorders, blood sugar difficulties, headaches or migraine, ADD or ADHD, Asperger's syndrome, irritable bowel, joint problems, and food allergy or intolerance may all be common in the families of fibromyalgia patients.

It is unclear how these conditions interact, or what causes what, but in fibromyalgia it often seems like several conditions pile on top of each other.

Hypoglycemia or Reactive Hypoglycemia - Sometimes called fibroglycemia when it occurs with fibromyalgia. Reactive hypoglycemia will not show up on a standard fasting blood test, but you could have all the hypoglycemia symptoms; cold or tingling extremities, dizziness, fatigue, headache, impaired thinking, irritability, muscle weakness,palpitations, tremors, and unusual hunger or cravings for high carbohydrate foods like sweets, bread, or pasta.

Weight gain is common, though not universal, among reactive hypoglycemics.These symptoms may present themselves when you are hungry, or after you have a high carbohydrate meal or snack. hey may range from mild to severe, with particularly severe symptoms usually occurring when it's been too long since you've eaten. Individuals may be more prone to midnight snacking, or even to compulsive, unconscious night eating.This is caused in part by poor tolerance of a high carbohydrate diet, and is best managed by diets like the Zone diet (Sears and Lawren, 1995) which balance carbohydrate intake with lean protein and healthy fats.

A diet high in refined sugar, refined flour, and starchy foods like potatoes and pasta, will make this condition worse, even though you may crave them.

Higher lean protein intake (fish, poultry, soy or tofu, cottage cheese), and healthy, unprocessed fats (raw nuts or seeds, avocados, olive oil, fish, and flaxseed) will help control the symptoms and diminish the cravings. To further complicate things there is also a recent warning out regarding the foods we all love to consume.

STOCKHOLM - Foods such as bread, biscuits, chips and French fries contain high quantities of acrylamide, a substance believed to cause cancer, say Swedish scientists. A study carried out by Stockholm University and scientists at Sweden's National Food Administration, showed that heating of carbohydrate-rich foods — potatoes, rice, cereal — formed acrylamide, a substance classified as a possible human carcinogen.
Acrylamide is white, odorless and flake-like. It is often used in drinking water treatment. Other uses of include the making of chemicals and dyes, ore processing and in the construction of foundations and tunnels.
The scientists say they were so alarmed by their findings, they decided to make the information public before it appeared in a journal. Other products tested included breakfast cereals made by Kellogg, Quaker Oats and Swiss Nestle, and Old El Paso brand tortilla chips.

I honestly try to keep my diet free of these ingredients. I know that if I go on a sugar binge, my pain accelerates and that sugar feeds pain. Knowing this conciously makes it just a little easier to say no to the sweetest things in our lives. It may be comfort food but in the end, it is our relatives who indeed may need to be comforted.

I am no angel, nor am I a saint. I just truck along, alternately helping myself and hindering myself. One day I put my nose to the grindstone of pristine living and do everything I am supposed to and nothing that I am not supposed to. The next day I find myself forgetting the rules and trying to live a normal life. It never works and I never seem to learn. Delayed reaction pain is a fact of life when one suffers from Fibromyalgia and/or arthritis and other pain related illnesses. Learning to pace yourself, learning what not to do and when not to do it, is the key. Unfortunately we become so restricted by using this formula that we resist and often place ourselves in painful flares by doing exactly what we ought not to have done for various positive reasons (at the time).

Its been a miserable day for me. Weeks of endless rain, gloom and doom and I have eaten four jelly filled cookies today that I feel guilty about. Normally I do not bother to eat sweets but every now and then, the dragon takes me by the hand and leads me into the land of cookies, ice cream and candies. This is where I dance with the candy man, and to my later chagrin, pay for the flirtation.

Until next time, FG

TRAPPED BY THE FIBROMYALGIA DRAGON
Now Playing: Oh What A Night
Topic: Accomplice
My Song

When it rains, I ache all over. When the rain is coming in and the atmospheric pressure changes, I ache all over. When a high comes in and it is hot, I ache all over. When it is muggy, overcast or windy, I ache all over. If I go out in a boat over cold water, I ache all over. If I sit in air conditioning I ache all over. I cannot seem to win so this year I am asking Ma Nature to please give me the perfect weather. Still, dry air, seventy-five degrees, some white puffy clouds with lots of blue sky, and humidity Index way down! If I could have that twenty-four hours a day, three hundred and sixty five days of the year, I could cut out one third or more of my pain.

Living in the North gives us an opportunity to experience the four seasons and those of us who have been born in this type of climate, appreciate the changing seasons. However, as one ages a little, the punishment of bitterly cold winters, rainy springs, hot, humid summers and cool crisp falls put our bodies into a tailspin, into the eye of the Dragon’s Tornado.

This spring for a lot of us, has been a mixed bag. Some of you are sweltering under extreme heat while others have extreme heat and rain. Still others are having wet damp cold weather and summer seems as though its never going to arrive. Still others are experiencing hot humid weather one day only to have it go under fifty and be damp and cold the next! No wonder our bodies cannot adjust. I am convinced that the Dragon is responsible. Like a hungry race car driver he has his horny feet on the pedal and he is pushing Ma Nature to the limit. All to get us.

Sound paranoid? Ask anybody who suffers from arthritis, Fibromyalgia, chronic pain, etc and they will tell you that weather is not our best friend. It gets pretty bad when one watches the weather forecast with dread because one knows that pain is going to slam into your body with a vengeance.

My husband does understand that certain types of weather make me ache. He sees it in my face. My Mother in law however, thinks its all in my head. She thinks its nonsense. She remembers running through the rain as a young woman, swimming in ice cold pools, and never feeling an ounce of pain. To this day at seventy, she is bowling, swimming, playing croquet, curling and cross country skiing with a minimum of protest. She wants me to be like her and is constantly reminding her son that he should have picked a wife who was NOT LAZY.

Does this attitude get to me? Of course it does. Just because I have Fibromyalgia and Arthritis doesn’t mean that I have an empty chamber in my brain. I try to educate her but she has a little force field built around her. She simply does not care to listen or comprehend. Also, my doctor, who is her doctor as well, does not help. He is constantly telling me to get a hobby, get out with the girls and to forget the pain. Easier said than done IODIOT FACE, I tell him under my breath. I can see the Dragon over his shoulder grinning at me with his evil yellow eyes daring me to say something. I shut my mouth. I cannot fight the world. I cannot even fight the Dragon.

If I could, I would kick his butt and run him out of my life. Who doesn’t want a pain free life? Does anybody in his or her right mind believe that we want to be like this?

I could go on and on. Every day is a nightmare, as the pain closes in and I wonder how everybody copes with all of this. I try and have tried for years and years. But it doesn’t make any difference. The pain has a mind of its own, the Dragon programs it and I am in the Dragon’s control.

How I wish I were not. Signing off till next time, FG

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TRAPPED BY THE FM DRAGON
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.....
Topic: Sunday Blues
My Song

Something about Sunday makes me feel blue.

My better half is off playing golf and I have nothing to do but mull over the snapping and snarling we went through last night.

I think he is cheating on me. Oh my cheating heart, you make me feel so blue.

I cried and cried the whole night through.

And sleep never came. I tried not to accuse him because he has a charming little habit of turning the tables on me and telling me that it’s the medications talking and that I am OUT OF IT.

Well, it hurts but I feel and sense that my husband is seeing another woman.

Somehow writing it out, spelling it out makes it a total reality instead of what he calls my foaming fantasies. Meaning, foaming at the mouth i.e. out of it mentally.

Sure, I have and suffer from Fibro Fog. It’s a known conclusion that we all do. It’s not the medications either. Our brains are cloudy, compromised by whatever this is.

I get names and dates mixed up, things fly out of my brain as fast as they come in, but if I take my time and pump up my brain and refrain from getting nervous and trying to remember too hard, it comes back to me, eventually.

Do I feel like a fool?

Yes, most of the time. But I am so used to feeling that way that it doesn’t really get to me anymore.

Why do I think that my husband is cheating on me? Because he acts differently.

He is becoming somebody I do not know.

He kisses me differently and he never cuddles or gets romantic that’s why.

When a man kisses you in a different way after being married to him for years, a gal kind of gets the idea that he is taking lessons and that they are free and for the taking.

So now I have to take action. I also have to think about how I really feel about my husband cheating on me. I am not exactly the model wife.

I am a huge burden and I am not exactly a happy go lucky party girl who is ready to go on a moment’s notice to have a blast.

Nor am I Miss Romantic anymore. I hurt too much. Plain and simple.

I love my husband very much but I feel guilty about the life he leads with me.

I am his chain to the ball that drags him around when he should be living it up and in the prime of life inhaling life with gusto, enthusiasm and much happiness.

He should be able to go camping, do his sports, and not worry about me.

All my interests have faded simply because I am unable to participate. His have gotten stronger and that has caused a huge rift between us.

We used to make a solemn oath to one another that it didn’t matter; that what we had was so special, that it was worth it all. Now, I am not so sure. Even his friends are hinting he should drop me like a hot potato.

I am a liability in my husband’s career as well. I should be able to be a hostess, to involve myself in the wives executive charity projects, attend balls, dinners and charity functions, be there for him. His company frowns on the fact that I rarely make an appearance and when I do, I leave early wincing with pain.

I am holding him back from a promotion.

No, he does not say that and has never accused me of such a thing, but I confess I picked up the phone and listened to a conversation he had with his assistant, Betty Anderson, that pert little blond with the legs up to her chin who loves to water ski, golf, dance and party.

I heard him tell her that I was holding him back. To be fair he also told her he cared so much about me and suffered because I am suffering.

She made the usual cluck clucking sympathetic noises but I could tell from the timbre in her voice that she wants my man.

So I suspect her as my number one thief. The thief who wants to steal my husband away from me.

I am not powerless to stop it. I am trying really hard to look good, to make an extreme effort not to talk about illness all the time.

Men dislike talking about sickness and illness all the time. It makes them feel uncomfortable.

Women have a habit of grinding the facts in, and men would prefer to leave it all under the carpet. Women like to chew their cud, men like to culp and swallow.

I am learning to button my lip and talk about different things like current events, his projects at work.

He is appreciating it but I haven’t gotten his full attention just yet. I am working on it.

So that’s my story for this dismal rainy Sunday. I am sitting here making a game plan to keep my husband.

If that isn’t a sad tale, I don’t know what is. I know that people are starving in the world, they are dying, that there are disasters, murders, illnesses worse than mine, and so much more misery but to me, losing my husband would cave in my whole world so to me, this is a disaster of the highest magnitude. I will figure something out.

I just have to.

Until tomorrow, FG



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So What Is Going On Within My Body?
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Cryin in the rain
Topic: SOUR NOTES ON FM
Cryin in the rain

So What Is Going On Within My Body?

The FM stats tell us that 3-6% of the US population has FM. Although a higher percentage of women are affected, it also strikes children and men of all ages and races. FM has a serious impact on patient’s families, friends, and employers, as well as society at large. But does society really comprehend just what is going on? Do they get it? I know that my Mother In Law Theresa does not. She thinks I am faking. That I am lazy, shiftless and want to loll around in bed all the time. She thinks I am using the pain if FM to have an easy life and to make her beloved son cater to me! Sadly, this view is held by many.

So what are the symptoms of FM?

FM is characterized by the presence of multiple tender points and a constellation of symptoms.

Pain The pain of FM is profound, widespread and chronic.

It knows no boundaries, migrating to all parts of the body and varying in intensity. FM pain has been described as deep muscular aching, throbbing, twitching, stabbing and shooting pain that defines the very existence of the Fibromyalgia patient. Neurological complaints such as numbness, tingling and burning are often present and add to the discomfort of the patient.

The severity of the pain and stiffness is often worse in the morning.

Aggravating factors which affect pain include cold/humid weather, non-restorative sleep, physical and mental fatigue, excessive physical activity, physical inactivity, anxiety and stress.

Fatigue In today's world many people complain of fatigue; however, the fatigue of FM is much more than being tired.

It is an all-encompassing exhaustion that interferes with even the simplest daily activities. It feels like every drop of energy has been drained from the body, which at times can leave the patient with a limited ability to function both mentally and physically.

Sleep Problems Many Fibromyalgia patients have an associated sleep disorder which prevents them from getting deep, restful, restorative sleep.

Medical researchers have documented specific and distinctive abnormalities in the stage 4 deep sleep of FM patients.

During sleep, individuals with FM are constantly interrupted by bursts of awake-like brain activity, limiting the amount of time they spend in deep sleep.

Other symptoms Additional symptoms may include: irritable bowel and bladder, headaches and migraines, restless legs syndrome (periodic limb movement disorder), impaired memory and concentration, skin sensitivities and rashes, dry eyes and mouth, anxiety, depression, ringing in the ears, dizziness, vision problems, syndrome, neurological symptoms and impaired coordination.

How is it diagnosed?

Currently there are no laboratory tests available for diagnosing Fibromyalgia.

Doctors must rely on patient histories, self-reported symptoms, a physical examination and an accurate manual tender point examination.

This exam is based on the standardized ACR criteria. Proper implementation of the exam determines the presence of multiple tender points at characteristic locations.

It is estimated that it takes an average of five years for a FM patient to get an accurate diagnosis.


Many doctors are still not adequately informed or educated about FM.

Laboratory tests often prove negative and many FM symptoms overlap with the symptoms of other conditions, thus leading to extensive investigative costs and frustration for both the doctor and patient.

Another essential point that must be considered is that the presence of other diseases, such as rheumatoid arthritis or lupus, does not rule out a FM diagnosis.

Fibromyalgia is not a diagnosis of exclusion and must be diagnosed by its own characteristic features.

To receive a diagnosis of FM, the patient must meet the following diagnostic criteria:

Widespread pain in all four quadrants of the body for a minimum duration of three months

Tenderness or pain in at least 11 of the 18 specified tender points when pressure is applied (see figure)

Do we know what causes FM?

While the underlying cause or causes of FM still remain a mystery, new research findings continue to bring us closer to understanding the basic mechanisms of Fibromyalgia.

Most researchers agree that FM is a disorder of central processing with neuroendocrine/neurotransmitter dysregulation.

The FM patient experiences pain amplification due to abnormal sensory processing in the central nervous system.

An increasing number of scientific studies now show multiple physiological abnormalities in the FM patient, including: increased levels of substance P in the spinal cord, low levels of blood flow to the thalamus region of the brain, HPA axis hypofunction, low levels of serotonin and tryptophan and abnormalities in cytokine function.

Other researchers are working on the new variant Brucellosis virus as being the cause, while still others are putting the blame on the endocrine system and/or the spine.

Recent studies show that genetic factors may predispose individuals to a genetic susceptibility to FM. For some, the onset of FM is slow; however, in a large percentage of patients the onset is triggered by an illness or injury that causes trauma to the body.

These events may act to incite an undetected physiological problem already present.

Exciting new research has also begun in the areas of brain imaging and neurosurgery.

Continued work will look at the hypothesis that FM is caused by an interpretative defect in the central nervous system that brings about abnormal pain perception.

Medical researchers have just begun to untangle the truths about this life-altering disease.

The fMRI is an exciting diagnostic or informing tool as it shows the brain’s reaction to stimuli that ordinarily would not show up in a normal person.

How is FM treated?

One of the most important factors in improving the symptoms of FM is for the patient to recognize the need for lifestyle adaptation.

Most people are resistant to change because it implies adjustment, discomfort and effort.

However, in the case of FM, change can bring about recognizable improvement in function and quality of life. Becoming educated about FM gives the patient more potential for improvement.

An empathetic physician who is knowledgeable about the diagnosis and treatment of FM and who will listen to and work with the patient is an important component of treatment.

It may be a family practitioner, an internist or a specialist (rheumatologist or neurologist, for example).

Conventional medical intervention may be only part of a potential treatment program.

Alternative treatments, nutrition, relaxation techniques and exercise play an important role in FM treatment as well.

Each patient should, along with the practitioner, establish a multifaceted and individualized approach that works for them.

Pain Management Over-the-counter pain medications, such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen, may be helpful in relieving pain.

The physician may decide to prescribe one of the newer non-narcotic pain relievers (e.g. tramadol) or low doses of antidepressants (e.g. tricyclic antidepressants, serotonin reuptake inhibitors) or benzodiazepines.

Patients must remember that antidepressants are "serotonin builders" and can be prescribed at low levels to help improve sleep and relieve pain.

If the patient is experiencing depression, higher levels of these or other medications may need to be prescribed.

Another beneficial pain therapy, which works well on localized areas of pain, is lidocaine injections into the patient's tender points.

An important aspect of pain management is a regular program of gentle exercise and stretching, which helps maintain muscle tone and reduces pain and stiffness.

Often, Opiods are necessary to control pain.

Sleep Management Improved sleep can be obtained by implementing a healthy sleep regimen, which includes going to bed and getting up at the same time every day, making sure that the sleeping environment is conducive to sleep (i.e. quiet, free from distractions, a comfortable room temperature, a supportive bed), avoiding caffeine, sugar and alcohol before bed, doing some type of light exercise during the day, avoiding eating immediately before bedtime and practicing relaxation exercises as you fall to sleep.

When necessary, there are new sleep medications that can be prescribed, some of which can be especially helpful if the patient's sleep is disturbed by restless legs or periodic limb movement disorder.

Psychological Support Learning to live with a chronic illness often challenges an individual emotionally.

The FM patient needs to develop a program that provides emotional support and increases communication with family and friends.

Many communities throughout the United States and abroad have organized Fibromyalgia support groups.

These groups often provide important information and have guest speakers who discuss subjects of particular interest to the FM patient.

Counseling sessions with a trained professional may help improve communication and understanding about the illness and help to build healthier relationships within the patient's family.

Other Treatments Complementary therapies can be very beneficial.

These include: physical therapy, therapeutic massage, myofascial release therapy, water therapy, light aerobics, acupressure, application of heat or cold, acupuncture, yoga, relaxation exercises, breathing techniques, aromatherapy, cognitive therapy, biofeedback, herbs, nutritional supplements, and osteopathic or chiropractic manipulation.

What is the prognosis?

Better than ever before! The efforts of individuals, support groups, organizations and medical professionals to help improve the quality of life for people with FM are starting to pay off.

Better ways to diagnose and treat FM are on the horizon. The symptoms of FM can vary in severity and often wax and wane, but most patients do tend to improve over time.

By actively seeking new information, talking to others who have FM, re-evaluating daily priorities, making lifestyle changes, and working hard to keep a hopeful attitude, the FM sufferer can become the FM survivor!

TOPICALS

The prescription drug PENNSAID lotion with duclofenac (anti inflammatory helps) and some people find relief from the new 024 Zone Lotion/spray and/or Aspercream sports rub, Capascain Rubs, Menthacin, Sports Rub etc. The trick to the topicals is to remember to apply if faithfully every four hours.

Note: The new 024 Zone topical information can be found on the Wellness Train FM CFS Board! It is just out.

References: FM AWARE

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Wellness Train Chronic Pain Support On Line

So now you can download a little information about FM. However, I suggest you also go to the following site for the latest and up to date information regarding FM and CFS.

THE WT FM CFS INFO BOARD

I have been slowly educating my husband but my Mother In Law refuses to read about FM. She says it is a doctor’s disease for neurotic women.

I actually had a doctor who told me once that it was a life style choice!

Meaning that I chose to be sick, in pain and unable to participate in a normal, healthy life style.

I never saw this doctor again. Some carrotheads just don’t get it!

My husband is tender, sweet and loving. But he wants to have children and I am afraid that being pregnant will make me worse.

The hormonal change can make or break you. I am not sure that I am up to looking after a baby and as much as I yearn for a child, if I have the pain I am suffering now, I will not be able to assume control or responsibility nor will I be a responsible and good parent.

This is my contribution for the day.

I thought I would share information now and then. But mostly I am here to share common emotional constraints, and sociological problems we all face when suffering from pain and illness.

Misery loves company I guess, until next tim;

Fly like an eagle, if only in your mind, FG

Respect and love yourself, come hell or highwater!

Kick that Dragoon in the butt!

If you can kick! LOL! fG

Mental kicking is permitted!

TRAPPED BY THE FM DRAGON
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
Topic: STRUGGLING TO OVERCOME
My Song THE WELLNESS TRAIN MAIN

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STRUGGLING TO OVERCOME THE FLARE

When Dragoon attacked me, I honestly thought that I could not withstand this flare. Even my teeth hurt, if you can imagine.

My skin is bothering me so much I don’t even like to get out of my soft jammies. This irritates my husband who feels I should make every effort to look attractive for him. OK, so I put on lip-gloss.

My muscles are still screaming at me and using profanity against Dragoon.

He does not seem to mind, the more my body protests, the harder he clamps down on me with his overpowering grip of oozing pain and distress. If I could find Dragoon in this myriad of pain, I would knock him off. No question about it.

Fibromyalgia has to be a misnomer. I mean, its much more than just sore muscles. The carrotheads, a lot of them. do not even recognize it as a bone fide disease.

They think that we are all candidates for a mental institution. Little do they know that they may be the next ones to be ravaged by this illness.

It is no joke.

People scoff at people who say that FM is so painful but they don’t have a bloody clue as to what is involved and just how painful it really is.

I am convinced that if the nonsayers would just have it for one week, they would change their tune and dance to a different jig full of compassion, and understanding. All of this however, is sadly lacking in the salad bowl of life.

A lot of women are afraid to mention the fact that they have FM. It is as though it is a venereal disease and something to hide or be ashamed of.

This is pathetic and it’s a political endeavor to hush up the people as this has taken such a vicious and strong hold on the general population that it probably stems back to something in the environment, i.e. testing of agent orange or something like that!

Flare-ups exhaust me. I go into a spiral of depression, feeling weak, tired and totally unable to cope with the world.

Eventually I pick myself up, dust myself off, but it comes gradually, as the flare eases. Having primary illnesses as the main target on my body does not help. The FM is just the painful icing on the cake and who needs it.

I try to stay positive.

I try to eat a healthy diet. I even try to exercise and keep as fit as I can, but who is kidding whom? The more you push your body, the more you hurt.

This hypothetical nonsense about exercising and showing vast improvements is a myth that the doctors like to hand out like candy.

The more active we become the more delayed reaction pain we get. We have to move very slowly, and slowly increment our regiment and even then, we suffer the consequences that very night.

NOT while we are doing something, but the delayed reaction factor comes into play just as it does with back problems and arthritis. I also have back problems.

I think most people with FM do.

And, I think that most people with FM are struggling with the stress of just making it from day to day.

No, I am not pouring sympathy around like maple syrup, but I believe that the pain is so intense that we force ourselves to participate in life.

We are not suicide participants, but we are truly warriors in the noblest sense of the word. Having said that, we have our wimping days and this is ONE for me.

We all have them.

Deep down, I aspire to live a decent life and mostly to put out my hand and heart to others in need.

I think that is the purpose of living with chronic illness.

Learning that life is indeed precious, short and short lived, and that we had better get it right the first time around.

Doctors tell us we do not die of Fibromyalgia. They neglect to tell us that we do not live!

Signing off now

May your hopes spring eternal and may all your dreams become a reality.

FG

Dragoon the Dragon goes wild
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Black Magic Woman
Topic: THE ATTACK AND FLARE
Last night Dragoon hit me hard with everything he had. I am aching from head to toe, including my skin which feels as though somebody has pinched it viciously in every part of my body!

My muscles are tight and taut and ache so much it hurts to try to breathe in and out. My ribs and sternum feel as though Dragoon has punched me in the chest and my feet are so sore I am limping.

What is this thing called Fibromyalgia?

I have been attacked so many times by the Dragon whom I shall call Dragoon for identification purposes. I have fought back in many instances but last night I was overcome, beaten and slaughtered. I am consequently in the midsty of a massive flare.

Course it didn't help that Jack, my husband walked out of the house last night, came home three sheets to the wind and accused me of wanting to be sick in order to get his attention!

I suppose that he is sick and tired of me being sick and tired. Most of the time he understands or pretends to, but I wonder what goes on in his mind when he sees a healthy chick strutting her stuff as I limp and drag beside him, slightly overweight, shuffling in pain, my face drawn and lined from chronic illness.

I need a total body lift. I can feel the anguished wrinkles settling in as I write this and I am only forty years old.

My cat Alfred is my mainstay in life. My comfort and my joy. He seems to know when things get rough and he offers me unconditional love and support.

Animals seem to sense pain and they try to heal it. Least my Alfie does.

Jack does not like Alfred but I think he is jealous of him. Imagine the immaturity of being jealous of a little bitty pussy cat.

Well, I love my Jack but he has a lot of maturity to gain. He is a good provider but my oh my he demands that he comes first in our household. Not that I begrudge him love and attention.

I do love him with a heck of a lot of passion although even that wanes when I flare as I am doing now.

We have a good relationship all in all. He loves me and is gentle and considerate most of the time. He gets fed up when I have to pull away from his embrace, or when I have to cancel social engagements.

He loves to party and to socialize. His family is always on his back about me.

How sick I am and poor poor Jack, what a terrible life he has with a sick woman.

He does not take any notice of it actually but I have caught him watching me with a little furrow between his handsome brows and I wonder what he is really thinking. OK back to my flare up.

I am sure that some of you can relate.

Our symptoms are so remarkably alike that I don't thin that every woman in the country reads a text book on Fibro before they go to a doctor, hence I believe that this disease really does exist, contrary to the opinions of many carrotheads (doctors who do not believe) around the country.

We all suffer from lack of sleep. We have bouts of fluid retention., bloating, abdominal pain, cold intolerance, dizziness, jaw pain, swelling, and tingling, depression and anxiety to name but a few enticing symptoms. Some blame it on physical , or a viral infection.

There have been reports of many more cases since 9/ll which could point to to the fact that the psyche, while not responsible, is inextricably involved and that FM is stress related. FM is often diagnosed as secondary to autoimmune .

As if this disease were not bad enough on its own, what these , feeling lousy, suffering from insomnia or constipation, must be like alongside a disease such as Lupus or Sjogrens , polymyositis, vasculitis, or Rheumatoid Arthritis.

I have RA and secondary Fibromyalgia and a myriad of other things which I will not go into right now. It is just too depressing to list a variety of ailments like a grocery list for a cocktail party.

All I know is that Dragoon out of the blue hit me with everything he had last night. Hence I am miserable, in pain and wishing I could crawl into a bubble and float away for a couple of weeks.

The darned relentless rain is also making things worse. The sky this year, for some reason, persists on being a silver gray, the rain drops falling with precision every hour of every day.

NOT conducive to feeling good when one has inflammatory arthritis and Dragoon fever.

I am eating chocolate today. I know I am not supposed to but my body is hurting so much I need some comfort food. This is something I do rarely as I know that sugar pain and contributes to it's intensity.

But I cannot help myself.

Something about letting the chocolate sweetness melt in my mouth gives me temporary comfort. However, once eaten, the guilty sets in and I am worse off than when I started.

Today I will pace myself and rest as much as possible.

When we do NOT pace ourselves and limit activities that irritate this condition we are asking for DRAGOON to capture us. Most of us are A type personalities and we forget this.

We start to feel less painful (never better) and we wash curtains, or scrub a floor or change a bed and pay for it for the next few days.

We are sensitive to weather conditions, to temperatures, to stress, to foods, and to activities.

Our lives are really on hold.

On a holding pattern until we either cure ourselves or somebody comes up with something. Don't hold your breaths girls, it ain't gonna happen for about five years. That's my guess. And I do a lot of research.

Well, I am going to crawl into the sack. I was supposed to clean up the kitchen this morning, but I am writing this instead and now I need a rest.

I will try to clean up the house before Jack comes home if Dragoon lets me.

I can see his evil yellow eyes staring at me and his mouth salivating, and I just know that he is itching for a second round with me.

So I say dang me, gonna take a rope and hang me, the housework will have to wait.

I never promised Jack a rose garden or a Martha Stewart. Besides, the leg iron would kill my skin.

Until next time, FG